Shinigami Golden Chronicles
by cloud-sephiroth
Summary: The Shinigami Golden, short takes of humor found at the end of Bleach episodes. To be safe, I am going to assume there will be spoilers up to the latest Bleach episodes, and maybe Manga chapters as well.
1. Byakuya did WHAT!

Shinigami Golden Chronicles

Disclaimer: I would like to state that I, the user cloudsephiroth, do not have any rights owning any characters from Bleach. Only the plot and anything specifically mentioned are my right.

Notes: Well, it's been a while since I've written any fanfics. I've been inspired to write Shinigami Golden omake-type shorts, just like the ones at the end of Bleach episodes. Some will be totally original, and some will be based or branched from existing ones.

I would also like to say that this fic was partially inspired by Twilight Scribe's Z Skit Theater, which is a Tales of Symphonia fic. In addition, I have asked his/her permission for usage of the dialogue format. It goes like this:

Yamamoto is Normal, Ukitake is Underlined, Shunsui is **Bold**, Byakuya is _Italicised_, Hitsugaya is **Bold and Underlined**.

Every chapter, I will assign each character that speaks a Normal, Underline, Bold, Italicise, or a combination.

**Omake Ichi (1): Byakuya did what?!**

Never had they seen Yamamoto-Soutaichou so serious.

The captain's meeting had just begun, and all the captains felt a tense aura surrounding the room.

"Yamamoto-soutaichou, what is the topic for this sudden meeting?"

"I have grave news to bear for all of us"

"**What, another invasion of ryoka? Did Yachiru find the sugar cabinet? Has the Shinigami Women's association cooked up something sinister again?**" This earned him a glare from Soi Fong. "**What happened to just relaxing in peace for several hundred years?**"

"Today, it has been notified to me by Abarai fukutaichou that…that Kuchiki taichou… has made a joke today!"

Everyone was dead silent.

"**…..Oh my god!**" The rest of the captains began to murmur amongst themselves.

"_…I fail to see what the issue is_" stated Byakuya.

Even Hitsugaya chuckled a little. "**So, what exactly was the joke?**" he inquired.

"I told Abarai fukutaichou that I cut my hair using Senbonzakura."

"Say what?!"

Byakuya sighed. "_…It's a joke._"

End

So, did you like or not? I'm sorry if it's terrible. I'm not a comedian, but I just wanted to write Shinigami Golden's. Please review.

Translation Notes: Soutaichou is similar to "General Commander/Captain". Ryoka is a japanese word, in the show used to describe "invaders". Fukutaichou is similar to "vice-captain"/"lieutenant".


	2. Milk

Shinigami Golden Chronicles

Disclaimer: I would like to state that I, the user cloudsephiroth, do not have any rights owning any characters from Bleach. Only the plot and anything specifically mentioned are my right.

Notes: Well, yay! I got some positive reviews, and that has inspired me to write again! So, here's the next short:

Urahara is Normal, Yoruichi is Underlined, Renji is _Italicised_.

Omake Nii (2): Milk

It was a quiet, peaceful morning in the Urahara Shoten. Urahara had sent Tessai, Ururu and Jinta out for some errands for the rest of the day. Yoruichi is relaxing outside under the sunlight.

"Ahh, it's so beautiful today. Not even Kisuke could ruin this." Yoruichi was about to sleep when she noticed, "Ah, Renji. How are you doing?"

"_Ohayo, Yoruichi-san. Here, have some milk_"

Yoruichi was about to thank him, but then came up with a sudden idea. She grinned inwardly, then gave Renji a glare.

"And you gave me a glass of milk…WHY?" Yoruichi began to gather her Reiatsu.

"_Oh, uh…b- because I thought you liked being a cat, so you might…like…milk… HELP ME!!_" Renji ran back into the store.

Urahara walked out of the store, and paused.

"What…just happened?"

"Heheh…nothing, Kisuke. Nothing."

End

Notes: Well, there we go. My second one. I always thought it was weird that Yoruichi chooses to transform into a cat.

Translation Notes: Shoten means shop. Ohayo means "good morning". –san is a suffix which expresses Renji's respect for Yoruichi. Reiatsu is "spirit force".

Notes 2: The storyline for this has been slightly edited to accommodate the fact that Yoruichi indeed likes milk.


	3. Matsumoto does it again

Shinigami Golden Chronicles

Disclaimer: I would like to state that I, the user cloudsephiroth, do not have any rights owning any characters from Bleach. Only the plot and anything specifically mentioned are my right.

Notes: Ok, well someone pointed out that my last chapter was slightly flawed in terms of correct Bleach accuracy. Yoruichi likes milk.

Now with that aside, we move on to the next humor short. Now, this one is another one inspired by existing ones in the show.

Hitsugaya is Normal, Matsumoto is _Italicised_.

Omake San(3): Matsumoto does it again.

A hot summer day was not ideal for the captain of the tenth division.

"Ugh…this heat is really getting to me…"

"_Oh taichou! It's so hot today…can't we both just take the rest of the day off?_"

"Absolutely not Matsumoto! We are behind in the paperwork as it is. Now do yours!"

Matsumoto sighed. But then she remembered that she had a backup plan.

"_Oi, Shiro-chan!_"

"That's Hitsugaya taichou to you!"

"…_It's so hot out today. I was hoping that we could just relax…eating this giant watermelon that I brought._" Matsumoto generates a watermelon out of nowhere.

"Matsumoto, that does not work on me."

"_Oh, but I was thinking about inviting Hinamori-chan over..._"

"W-what?!"

"_It would be such a fine time-_"

"Alright, alright! Bring her over then."

"_Arigatou, taichou!_" Matsumoto leaves.

Hitsugaya seems very smug. Until he realizes…

"wait a second…MATSUMOTO!!!!!"

Notes: Tee hee, Matsumoto is always behind her paperwork. If you don't get the joke, it's that Matsumoto was able to successfully bait Hitsugaya into letting her go out, using a watermelon and Hinamori to do so. I think we all know Shiro-chan's two weaknesses are watermelons and Hinamori.

Translation Notes: Shiro-chan is a nickname that Hinamori sometimes uses for Hitsugaya. It is also adopted by Ukitake whenever he is in a playful mood (I think I've seen Ukitake use this nickname only once though. I cannot confirm). Arigatou means thank you.


	4. Armed to the teeth

Shinigami Golden Chronicles

Disclaimer: I would like to state that I, the user cloudsephiroth, do not have any rights owning any characters from Bleach. Only the plot and anything specifically mentioned are my right.

Notes: It's been a while, something called life kept me from writing. I will try my best to get back into the swing of things.

Another thing is that I am going to assume you are, for the most part, caught up to the anime episodes. I am, and I will try to strictly stay to information accurate to that. However, I read the manga up to date, and trickles of manga info may drop in, but I will try to warn you if that kind of thing happens.

Notes on the omake: So, this is a direct continuation of the Shinigami Golden, where Byakuya must represent Renji for the Vice-Captain's meeting.

Byakuya is Normal, Yachiru is Underlined, Nanao is _Italicized_

Omake Shee/Yon (4): Armed to the teeth.

Still at the Vice-captain meeting.

"What's the next topic?"

Nanao shuddered. _"Scary. Umm…Our next topic of discussion is the Vice-captain camping trip. Yachiru-chan, I believe that was your department?_"

Yachiru stood up, one arm raised. "Yay! So, so, we're going to go to the Lost Woods*. It's going to be one week and we're going to have 7 tents with two people in each. It's going to be super fun and everything!"

Nanao was slightly confused. "_Um, but there's only 13 vice-captains…_"

Yachiru interjected. "Oh, silly, we're going to have Flash-steps Lady too! It'll be fun!"

"_Flash-steps lady?...Oh, Yoruichi-san."_

"It should be noted that again, Abarai Fuku-taichou will not be able to…attend…" Byakuya froze.

"Neh, neh, Byaku can come too! And then we can have chocolates, and have fun, and run around, and sing and-" Byakuya suddenly draws out more sweets from his sleeves and stuffs Yachiru's mouth with more candy as she munches quietly.

"What is the next topic?" he growled.

"_H-he's armed to the teeth…_"

*Yes, this is a Zelda reference. I may or may not expand on it later.


	5. Bold

Shinigami Golden Chronicles

Disclaimer: I would like to state that I, the user cloudsephiroth, do not have any rights owning any characters from Bleach. Only the plot and anything specifically mentioned are my right.

Notes: Hn. It took me a while to get the inspiration for this one. Then it took even longer for me to finish it and upload it.

Omake notes: This is a follow-up to when Hitsugaya warns Matsumoto, Ikakku and Yumichika to not try Orihime's cooking.

Hitsugaya is normal, Matsumoto is **bold**, Ikkaku is underlined, Yumichika is _italicized_, Orihime is **bold and underlined**.

Omake Go (5): Bold

"**And here is the final dish that I made. Umm….I'm going to go visit Kurosaki-kun now. If you guys need anything, let me know.****" Orihime takes her leave.**

"Hmm….this does look really weird…"

"**Ikkaku!"** Matsumoto hit him on his bald head. "**This is perfectly good food." **She grabs her chopsticks and began to eat the dish in front of her.

"_This dish…it looks…so beautifully prepared. It is definitely fitting for a beautiful person like me._" Yumichika took a bite as well. He nodded with approval

"Hmm…." Ikkaku stares at his dish, grunting and making faces at it, before slowly inserting a bite into his mouth. Everyone is silent as he swallows. He grins. "Well, it isn't as bad as it looks"

Hitsugaya gawked at the substance in front of him.

"**Taichou! Aren't you going to have some? It's rude to just stare"**

"Oh…ummm…" Toshiro gulped. "O-okay…"

He puts some in his mouth.

"Oh…it's not that bad…"

"**See taichou! You just have to have some guts. Just like with Hinamori!"**

"What did you say?!"

"**Nothing!" **Matsumoto quickly leaves the room while Ikkaku and Yumichika stare blankly.

Notes: Looking back I don't like this too much…let me know how you like it.


End file.
